Today is the first official day of my trip. I started my first leg of the journey by hopping on a bus from Montreal to Toronto where I'll stay for about a week. Thing is, I don't want to write about that. I don't want to write about how I feel about my first day. I want to write about the past, about what I'm leaving behind.
Montreal is a wonderful city. I spent over a year in the city. My first year out of school, my first year making it in the "real world". Not that that isn't difficult in itself but to do it in a city where you don't speak the primary language, is not only difficult but perhaps just stupid. Either way, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the city, the people, and it got lonely at times, but Montreal has a life and energy of it's own.
Montreal doesn't just hold my first year in the rat race in my heart, but other things as well... well, other PEOPLE as well. John, my ex. John will always hold a place in my heart. We get on each other's nerves, we drive each other crazy, we're ex's, we're friends, we work together sometimes, and we want to kill each other more often than none. But, we still care about each other, one way or another. Him and I have been through a lot, and although I know it's not a goodbye forever, it's a much needed but still difficult, parting.
There is another person who I have grown to be quite fond of over the past few months. He became someone in my life when i least expected it. A truly remarkable person, we were able to simply enjoy our time with each other, and appreciate each other. There was no pressure, there was no expectations, and no disappointment. He constantly surprised me with his actions, sentiment and genuine caring. Somehow, I was simply comfortable in his presence. He made time for me. This man cared and liked me for me...for my geeky, nerdy, make-a-fool-of-myself- self. Most importantly, he played a role in my life. In four months, he taught me a lot, more than I think he knows. He taught me how to laugh with somebody again. To be myself, and comfortable with myself. I've been dating serious people, and to each their own, nothing against anyone, but I needed to be reminded how to laugh and relax with someone again. I want to thank him for that, and he will be sincerely missed. He was exactly what i needed for the last four months, and I could not ask for anything more. I just hope, I had a tenth of an impact on him, as he did me.
Of course there are many others I will miss, and other things in the city that I will hold dear. But this is not the end, who knows where I'll end up.
So there you have it, a peak into some more personal aspects of my life.... A preview of letting a couple walls or guards down. So now that I'm feeling slightly vulnerable, lets move onto my first day.
Me on the bus!
It doesn't quite feel like a "first day" considering how many times I have done this trip to Toronto. I have gone back and forth on this stupid bus more times than I can count, however, i have no apartment to go back to in Montreal, my entire life now fits into a suitcase (well two, I am technically a woman after all). It's exciting. It's actually happening, things are actually going and doing. It's a little scary, but good scary! I have been on the bus for no more than 45 minutes and I have already been hit on and given a phone number (and let me tell you, lulu lemon pants, 4 hours of sleep, crying this morning, and no shower is NOT the most attractive look for me). I guess that's one way to start off. This bus is exciting because it has a table AND a plug which means... I have my computer/movies the whole trip. For someone who has the bus trip between Montreal and Toronto strategically planned out that it's down to a science, this is extremely exciting, having said that... I think I'm going to go read my new book and nap.
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