There is someone behind you....

.... these are not words of some crazy, sociopathic, stalking serial killer..... although I'm sure they have been uttered by someone with that title..... no, these are simply friendly words of advice!

"There is someone behind you" is actually the phrase that I constantly feel like gently and calmly screaming at people here in Hong Kong.  There are 7 000 000 people in a land area 1/7th the size of Toronto. That is a lot of people, and not a hell of a lot of space.  People here seem completely immune to the laws of physics.  Due to the Law of Conservation of Matter, two pieces of matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  This seems logical, and simple..... and yet completely beyond everyone here.  They are consistently walking into me, and looking at me completely shocked and appalled that I actually exist, and they couldn't walk right through me as they must've originally thought. This brings me to my point...

There is ALWAYS someone behind you....

- When you are riding an escalator.... when you get to the top, do not stop to take in the incredible scenery of a MTR cement wall, please continue moving in a forward direction.  When you stop, I then trip over my own feet and stumble into you or have to be ninja-like in my movements ducking and dodging other people, as not to hit you. The reason for this is that the escalator continues to move and move people towards you.  When you stop, we are unable to stop the movement of the escalator, and hence, slam into the back of you leaving you sprawled out like a new born giraffe unable to grasp the concept of 'legs'.  Just remember, when riding an escalator, there is always someone behind you!

- When walking up stairs, actually just walking in general, there is always someone behind you.  When you insist on taking up the entire 'free' area of pedestrian flow, there is always someone behind you.  When you just have to up as much space as you can and walk at the pace of a 56K dial up modem downloading a full feature movie... there is someone behind you.   When all you need to do is take a small step to the right or left, opening up a new lane of pedestrian traffic, and you DON'T.... then the person who is behind you may simply push you over in complete disregard for your safety, and continue to walk at the a regular pace... they may.... if they weren't Canadian!

- There is ALWAYS someone behind you when you are walking and on your phone.  **note: when I say on their phone... I don't mean talking.  I mean the majority of people in Hong Kong walk while playing games or watching movies on their phone** Whilst you watch a movie or play 'pong' on your GIANT phones, you do not walk straight.  You think you walk straight, but you don't..... trust me.  There is someone behind you trying to walk straight and you... you zig and you zag. While one is trying to walk straight and therefore pass you (because while you are zigzagging, you are, of course walking extremely slow...) you make it impossible to pass (it looks like this:  ----/\/\/\/\/\/\/).  Just when one tries to predict your movement and tries zigging while expecting you to zag... you (oblivious to ANYONE around you) decide to continue on your original zig, tripping up the person behind you.... because, that's right... there is always someone behind you!!!

- One more... When you are walking anywhere outside.... sidewalk, street, market... and you and your buddy light up the most obnoxious smelling cigarettes known to man, there is someone behind you.  When you insist on walking slow enough that if you swing your hand far enough back, you'd burn the person trying to pass you, and when you insist on walking in such a way making it impossible to actually pass you.... there is someone behind you (cursing you....but from behind you).  And... when you turn and blow your smoke backwards, as not to blow it into the face of your already smoking friend... the person that is always behind you, then gets a face full of second-hand cancer.

...Believe me when I say, I could do this for hours. In one days time, I have multiple people run into me. I have multiple people simply STOP in front of me (I used to try and see the giant bottomless pit that would have to be there to make someone stop so abruptly and randomly... but to no avail).  I have multiple people walking incredibly slow (and Brian criticizes me for being a slow walker.. so if I'm calling them slow, they're REALLY slow).  And it goes on.... and I promise, because I'm the big white girl, they ALL get mad at me or glare at me when they get hit.  It's always my fault.  The biggest problem is the erratic walking. You guys just can't understand unless you come here.  You think you know where someone is  going to walk... you've been studying them for a good 10 minutes straight, observed, done mathematical calculations, ran experiments, and just when you go to make your move.... they do something completely illogical.  Remember mathematical equations can't help you here... the laws of physics don't apply.

So "there is someone behind you"... are not the words of some crazed, sociopath serial killer..... yet!