Today I was not feeling well.  I was up half the night feeling shakey and nauseous.  This morning I just felt so weak and sick that I couldn’t get out of bed.  Brian got himself all ready, and gave me a kiss, and told me to go back to sleep and get some rest.  

I mention this for two reasons.  The first is that I have been feeling very “off” for a while now.  I have felt nauseous at night, and for the past 10 days or so I have had a chest cough.  I will subtly pass over some other stomach trouble symptoms that have been haunting me.  I have been able to go to school and work and am still functional during the day, but come night, I feel like I am constantly telling Brian I don’t feel well, and curling into a ball.  It SUCKS!!!! It sucks for me to feel sick every night... but I’m not disillusioned to think that it doesn’t suck for Brian too.  I know how frustrating it is to hear someone complain about how they feel, let alone someone you care about, let alone every bloody night.  

We have somewhat come to the conclusion/hope that it is simply from living in a hotel room, having little to no room, and absolutely zero home cooked food.  Eating out every day will take a tole on anyone.  We’re not eating McDonalds every night or anything like that, last night, I just had some rice.  We have rice noodles all the time... but it is still “out” and it is still not home cooked food. On top of that, although not as unhealthy as eating out every night in Canada, it is still a diet that our bodies are not used to.  I think that Brian’s body is simply adapting better than mine.  His metabolism works better, faster and harder than mine, and therefore having such a dramatic change in foods is causing my stomach pains.  This is what we are hoping for (weird thing to hope for, I know), but in 5 weeks we move to the apartment on the school grounds.  This means home cooking for.... EVER!!! We will probably not eat out unless going out with friends, and considering we are slightly lacking in the friend area here, that will be far and few between.  

The second reason, and the more important reason, I bring this up is because of Brian.  He not only listens to me bitch and complain about it, but as I was throwing up last night, (Brian was asleep or almost asleep), he gets up, gets me some water, and comes to give me a hug.  Then this morning, I kept saying I was going to go (or I at least said it a couple times), and at one point just asked for 5 more minutes.  Brian knows me well enough that I am always the first one out of bed and getting ready first.  He knew... he knew I just needed to rest.  He knew that he had to get up, without me getting up or nagging him, or anything.  He knew that I wasn’t going to go.  He knew.  And he wasn’t mad, upset, frustrated, or anything.  He got up, got ready, and crawled onto the bed, kissed me, and told me to rest.  I know it sounds silly, but that meant the world to me.  I didn’t feel guilty for staying home, which normally I would.  

Having the support of someone like that is inexplicable.  I know that is what being in a relationship means. I know that I can be 100% myself with him.  I know that I love him more than words can describe. But to feel that support, and genuine love and caring from someone else is the most incredible feeling. Brian and I have been together for a while now, and he constantly does little things like that, that remind me how amazing he is and how amazing we are together.  

Nobody is perfect.  Brian and I have spent the last 4 months living in a 1 room hotel room together, going to and from work together, WORKING together, and pretty much spending 24 hours, 7 days a week within the bounds of 4 walls, together.  Those circumstances would be trying for ANYONE.  I’m sure I drive him crazy sometimes, and vice versa, but not only have we managed, we’ve managed extremely well.   Yes, we’re looking forward to the move, and yes, we’re excited to have a little more space, however there hasn’t even been a big fight or ‘waver’.  That’s incredible and a testimony to how incredible Brian is.  

I guess this brings me to my conclusion.  

I used to be fairly ‘nomadic’. I moved.... a lot.  I have lived in various apartments in various cities in various provinces, and even in a couple different countries (temporarily).  I have been from Vancouver to Toronto to Montreal to Hong Kong and back (and forth and back) again.  I like to claim to be independent and able. I make friends, I go out alone, I find my way around.  Having said that... I’ve done it. I’ve been to a new city of unknown.  I’ve been ‘alone’ without friends close by before.  I’ve even been to Hong Kong before (not for a long time) but I sort of ‘understood’ what to expect.  Brian is a whole different type of independent; a whole different kind of able. Without ever being outside of North America, never living outside of Ontario, he ups and leaves.  He had no idea what to expect, no one even remotely close by, and no idea what I was getting him into.  Talk about a leap of faith, talk about independent, talk about able!